The Silence after the Storm.

   I woke up at 5:30 feeling unusually fresh today. I wobbled to the bathroom and forcefully made nature do it's job as I have been doing for the past 5 years. After coming to my senses after 7 hours of broken sleep I hobbled to get my religious read for the day and made my way to the living room which seemed like running a marathon (not that I had run one ever). Catching my breath, I sat down and started reading the 10 verses scheduled for the day. Although my voice was emitting words at a steady rate, my mind wandered off as it did everyday but somehow today seemed different. Today was a bit more liberating. Everyday my mind wandered off into the forests but today, I was running in the meadows just like the cover of the movie "Life is Beautiful" (My generation loved that movie). I remember asking myself, is life still beautiful?
   My day starts with religious verses, moves on to getting the house cleaned by the numerous maids my daughter-in-law has hired as my help. They clean, they cook, they wash. They practically do everything in the house while I'm just sitting there watching their brisk movements through my huge spectacles with crinkly eyes. Sometimes, I feel like a cat looking at a pendulum but nowadays, even the maids seem to amuse me. After having my lunch worthy of an infant, I go get my sleep. Not that I feel sleepy, it's just that sleeping is the only thing that makes time go faster than watching television which is the next thing in my routine. With a cup of tea and two biscuits as my companions, I browse randomly through channels and wait for the hours to tick by.

   After technology bores me, I'm just sitting in the balcony, watching the world pass by. The contrast is one thing which amuses me a lot. Me, a 74 year old lonely woman sitting here, waiting for time to go as fast as possible while the people outside are hustling and bustling to save time. I miss the days where there was an aim, a destination to go to, an exciting change in the routine... A reason to live! My husband, may God bless his soul, and I had the time of our lives together. We raised our children responsibly, we laughed heartily, we loved passionately. It was wonderful, every day was different than the one before, every day stirred a different emotion in me, every day was a battle.
   It's been two years now. My children have taken on their mantle and are doing very well for themselves, they are now part of the world which doesn't walk or hobble, but runs around to save time. I'm happy for them, they are exactly what I raised them to be, but that is the problem with having kids, isn't it? They leave. You raise them to be fine young citizens of the world, clothed in their dapper suits while you are left in a rocking chair and pyjamas in the same place which used to be a noisy circus. Call it the 'Silence after the storm.' Isn't that what old age is all about? I'm bored of this silence. I really am.
    I know suicide is not the answer to your problems... but my problem is not having a problem. I'm lifeless. Void of any emotions. Stripped of energy. I'm bored. As the saying goes,"If you are doing something, do it with everything you got". Well, I have become an exception to the rule. I'm not sad or discontent, neither am I tired. The monotony of this life has got to me and I'm just bored. I'm running towards the meadows now. Just the tense changes. Life was beautiful.
                                                                                                          Signed,
                                                                                                  Eleanor H. Sherwood
                                                                                                 15/7/1940 - 19/12/2014