Strangers in the Night

Dear David,

Like any other grandfather in this world, I have relived my childhood just by looking at you get through your personal milestones. Turning twenty-one is a huge thing for any man and I'm sure it is the same for you as it was for me! You officially get the freedom that you wished for, the freedom you dreamt about since you were a kid... and that moment is now here for you! Don't think about this as a grandfather's manual to lead your life but there are some things which experience teaches you that Google or Quora just cannot. Matters of the heart, for example... This is the age where you get over your childhood crushes and start searching for the person you want to lead the rest of your life with. That, my dear, is no easy task.

It was New York in the 1950's, I was a young dapper lad full of ambition and hope amidst towering buildings, fast cars, beautiful women and abundance of opportunity. It was the City of Dreams indeed! The work was tiring but the night life was worth the toil... I won't lie, I have had my fair share of experiences with women which did not go beyond a night or two. Young blood and raging testosterone combined with half decent looks took you a long way in the city back then. The White Horse Tavern used to be my "workplace" post sunset. It was a quaint little pub on Hudson street which boasted of polished wooden interiors, lamps along with chandeliers brightening up the place just enough and great jazz music. (which happened to be the main reason for my frequent visits) It was the era of Frank Sinatra, Ray Charles, Ella Fitzgerald, John Coltrane, Nat King Cole.... The list is endless. They had taken over the music world and I had let myself be taken over by these geniuses of melody and words. The White Horse played jazz tunes every evening and that's where I found my solace, in jazz music. Funnily enough, my love for jazz guided me towards finding an even greater love, your grandmother.

Seemed like just another day at The Horse. Dressed in my best two piece suit, a fedora to match and of course complemented by a cigar and a glass of Jameson... All this amidst happy people and peppy jazz? I was living the life. Yes, the music was great but trust me, she was better. This woman that walked in through the door. Jet black hair which parted in the middle as if Moses himself had ordered them to do so, eyes as blue as the clear sky, lips that curved like the crescent moon revealing the most perfect set of teeth... you could call her of a 'fair complexion' but to my eyes she was glowing! She donned a pearl white gown which covered the most beautiful body I had seen in my entire life, earrings to match and the grace which she carried herself with. Oh, my! Every single man in the bar had turned over to see this female, be he married, single, on his first date... didn't matter and yet she walked in with a charm oblivious to all the opinions being shared around. I knew, this is it. Never before had I ever been puzzled by a woman at first sight and now that she'd put forth the challenge I deemed it my duty to go and accept it. There I was, nervous yet confident solely because of my good intentions towards unraveling this mystery woman. The lights were dim, the saxophone soothing and after exchanging a few preliminary glances, my feet paved their way towards her bar stool.

"Good evening, miss. How are you on this pleasant evening?"

"I'm fine, thank you. And what makes you think I'm a miss and not a mistress?"

"Well, you see, it's simple. I'm not married yet."

To this day I cannot fathom what got over me at that time and I had almost begun to dread what I'd just said when she chuckled and raised her own glass of Jameson (on the rocks, mind you!)

"Cheers to that, then"

It was cheers indeed. In a moment of madness, two strangers, through conversation, a candle lit dinner and a late night dance... fell in love. That's the way it has been ever since for your grandmother and I. Was it always this easy? Of course not. We had our fair share of ups and downs but we come from a generation where broken things are mended and not thrown. We thoroughly enjoyed our ups and stood strong in our downs and that is exactly how being together works! I don't want to be stereotypical and generalize but this is an observation which is a result of old age and a lot of free time.

You see, in my day and time, love meant a completely different thing. Looking at a person and finding him/her attractive or not so much is a natural human trait. The difference lies in the analysis of attraction. Would you rather marry a person who has a lot of money and can offer you and your children a secure future or would you marry the person who sweeps you off your feet every time you see him/her but a secure future is not something he can guarantee? A majority of your generation will opt for the former but we as young aspiring adults were willing to experiment with the entire idea of love! Money or education was never the primary criteria for marrying someone but compatibility and the want to do anything and everything for the person you're about to marry is what really counted! I know, that the times have changed and since your generation has become way more global than what we were ever offered, it obviously makes the entire concept of being 'together' a little more complicated. Through all my years of experience I've learnt one basic thing, love requires being around each other. I see a lot of young men and women in a long distance relationship and I am pretty skeptical about this phenomena. To old little me, it's like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode at any moment followed by  a devastating heartbreak and giving up on the entire concept of love.

My dear grandson, that is one mistake I never want you to do, no matter what. Never give up on love. It is one of the few things which humans know by instinct, something which cannot be taught. I urge you to try and not measure this beautiful feeling in money or possession or even by sacrificing it for an easy life! Be a little crazy, go out of your way, risk a few things, learn to close of your eyes and let yourself fall and rather than being afraid, enjoy the feeling that's coming your way. Experience it, let it grow you and make sure you have used the fall to learn something new. I want you to make mistakes in life, make mistakes in love, be sad, suffer emotionally, cry in agony and only then will you be able to appreciate the good decisions you eventually make, the laughter suddenly starts seeming more and more real, the happiness seems permanent. As a citizen of the world make sure that you believe in your ability to change the present by learning from the past to improve the future.

There is a lot to do in this small world, my dear. Put yourself in scenarios which require you to be afraid once in a while, something which makes your heart beat faster, your mind work harder and your soul calmer. I want you to experience all these little moments which when you look back upon seem like a distant memory. Be an encouraging husband, an exemplary father and a classy grandfather. (like me?) Gather stories to tell your progeny... stories of how you made it out of nothing, how strangely you met your spouse, the drama surrounding your marriage, the emotions you felt while having your first child... There's ample opportunities. Make your life a storybook which people want to read and which you feel good about writing. Be bold, be brave, be alive.

Oh! Happy 21st birthday. :)

Love,

Grandpa.14.04.17