This too shall pass.

A solitary dim yellow light, an unpleasant smell coming from the cigarette stubs and the numerous boxes of junk food strewn on the floor. A room, completely, at the mercy of the pigeons visiting through the half cracked windows. Contest chair, my dear toastmasters and esteemed guests… Would you like to call such a place your ‘home’? I’m sure it’s a resounding no. Just the description makes you feel dull and gloomy and just… repulsive! A total bachelor pad. That one house where half the college goes to party, not because they like to but because it’s that one house where everything goes. The house without rules. Now, ‘house’ is a flattering word for a three hundred square feet room which was crammed with two beds, cupboards, glasses fallen here and there, a mosaic of beer bottles… the floor was barely visible beyond the dust. The only space left was consumed by bacteria mutating in the garbage scattered around since the days of Mohen-Jo-Daro. Unfortunately, I lived in that mess. Rather, I lived that mess.

Why? You ask? 1 reason… DotA or Defence of the Ancients, an online multiplayer game is how my day began and ended. “This too shall pass” a famous quote by the Chinese philosopher, Confucius. I was aware of this quote but man, I wished he was wrong. I was enjoying myself being glued to one spot at a stretch playing this strategy based game where every match is so different because of the unlimited permutations and combinations it can produce! For ten months, a cumulative of 1500 hours of DotA (that’s 62 days, mind you!) I had a ball hurling abuses into my microphone at random gamers around the world, being my hero and trying to outplay others. I was addicted, as you might have already figured out. A simple video game but I had the same symptoms of any other addict. A passionate football player of eight years, reduced to mere skin and bones, responsibilities became nothing more than a silent voice at the back of my head, but the worst part of it all? Solitude became my best friend. I was losing at real life, whilst trying to win at a virtual one.

Despite understanding all these adverse effects, why was I staring at a screen for 10-12 hours in a day? It was probably because once I was in the game, all my surroundings became insignificant. God himself could have stood there bang in front of me and I could not have cared less. I was devoid of any image except for the dancing colours in front of me. That’s the thing about love, isn’t it? There’s a fine difference between love and addiction, I found. That of bravery. It takes a brave man to love and post a brutal breakup I had become a coward. I could not be in my own thoughts anymore because I was afraid and tired…. and just, just so scared of what my brain would think next. DotA helped me deflect and divert. I had turned my back on the problems facing me. “This too shall pass”, this time, I hoped Confucius was right.

The turning point came when I was at home getting my weekly verbal bashing from my parents, to which, I had become immune really. But, that night… was different. “Have you looked at yourself?! No aims, no goals, just a waste of oxygen… is this what we have raised you to be? I feel ashamed to call you my son”, he had screamed at me with a certain rage in his eyes which I had never seen before. I was lying on my bed, emotionless when my father, a successfully recovered alcoholic himself, came and sat beside me. Without a word, he held my hand tighter than he ever had. The water gathered on the periphery of my tear ducts suddenly gave way and I just… started crying. I had been screamed and shouted upon so often that I had forgotten how it felt like to be loved! Loved, in the real world. With fresh tears clouding up my vision and a quavering voice I looked up and said to him, “Baba, this is not me. I want to get better.” The rage I’d seen a few hours ago was now replaced by a peace I had never seen before. He calmly looked at me and said, “This too shall pass, my son”.

Today, I stand in front of you with my head held up high, with proud parents back home and friendships stronger than ever. The lesson I learnt was that we have to embrace our problems. Stare them right in the eyes with a smile on our face and hope in our hearts. Make them your friends rather than your enemies. It is absolutely imperative that we love our bad days more than our good ones because of one simple reason… we never lose. We either win or we learn. All we can strive to do, day in and day out is make the most of it. Laugh heartily, cry hopelessly, live happily and most importantly love unconditionally… because in the end… This too shall pass.